Just a recap..... I read a post on FRUA. A family was asking how children learn or don't learn language. Their child had been home for 6 weeks.


I looked at old emails and journal entries. Natasha had been home for 2 months before I noticed her usage of English was improving.


What I didn't know at that point was just how delayed her language skills were. Her language skills were screened after she had been home for 6 months. She was 4 years old and had the language skills of a 2 year old. And I didn't know how much she feared being taken back to the orphanage until she started language therapy and could communicate better.


When my daughter was home for 1.5 months to 2 months, I knew that she was:

• 
  strong-willed




• 
  ping pong girl (easily over stimulated)




• 
  independent




• 
  very, very clever

There was just so much that I didn't know about Natasha at that point. I didn't truly understand the impact of her crossed eyes. She had them fixed via 45 minute out patient surgery after being home 3 months. It took close to 2 years of various therapy to deal with the SID, gross motor and fine motor delay.


At 2 months home, I completely understood that Natasha was still in orphanage survival mode. And she still didn't understand what family meant.


In my daughter's orphanage (and I know others), the children built up "family groups" that only include children. She was actually more comfortable at her child care because she was surrounded by children.


I decided treated her like a baby to help with attachment. Every evening I gave her a bath and then wrapped her into a towel. Both of these events calmed her down. We stood in front of the mirror and looked at the images.


I would ask, "Who is that?"


Then I would answer, "Mama and Natasha", while pointing to to us.


Then I would rock her in my arms. We would continue looking into the mirror. I would sing a song from Barney.

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won't you say you love me too?

We still sing this song.


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What is Family? (part 1)