I read the same thread on FRUA that Nancy Spoolstra did. The thread was about internationally adopted children and how quickly they do or do not start learning English.


She wrote Mi Casa es Mi Castillo.

Nancy wrote:

While I completely agree some kids have language and processing issues, and perhaps hearing and speech issues, many kids love the power they have when they play dumb about their new language and the parents fall all over themselves trying to “teach” the child English. If your gut tells you your kid “gets it”, he probably does. Don’t sell your instincts short.

It is amazing how completely a person's past experience will color their reactions. My reaction to the post was quite different


I was in Ukraine and Poland for about 3 weeks. When I adopted you had to process the I-600 visa application in Warsaw Poland. I spent the majority of this time visiting with Natasha for a few hours a day. I believe that we were together 24/7 for the last 5 days of the journey.





I didn't know this 3.5 year old child very well when I accepted the referral and agreed to adopt her. The orphanage doctor told me that Natasha was strong willed and squinty eyed.


And Natasha clearly communicated that she would love to live anywhere other then the orphanage. Her "strong-will" caused her problems with the various caretakers. But there were many that seemed to love her.


Natasha called me Mama only because an adult told her to. Natasha didn't have a clue what the word meant.


And for the longest time she thought that my translator was adopting her. I didn't take this personally. How could I? It wasn't like Natasha would magically understand my world or the world of parents. Me or the 5-eyed alien above were just as strange to her.


Natasha didn't understand what adoption meant... other then a lot of papers had to be collected. After the adoption was finalized, I picked up Natasha and gave her a bag. I thought she could carry her toys and food in it.


She was far more interested in collecting papers and carrying them in the bag. She thought that papers were all that stood between her and returning to the orphanage.


Can you image? ..... I didn't realize this at the time. But thinking about it later, it was clear that she was worried about returning to the orphanage.

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What is Family? (part 2)