I asked is it Better to Have an Angry Child?

I should have asked is it easier to help your child heal if they are aggressive or withdrawn. I think the answer is aggression (as long as people aren't being hurt) because the child is interaction with the parent.

I have used anger to help my darling daughter Natasha. This was before she had been diagnosed with a language processing disorder and ADHD.

She would get very anger and sad because she couldn't do what other children did. She knew a few letters but many of her friends in kindergarten could read.

And that brings up another common theme for my darling. She couldn't keep friends. She would run over other children's feelings and thoughts.

She cry at bedtime and hit herself in the head. She would say that she was stupid. She knew that she was different and hated it. She hated herself.

One day I just LOST it. I was so tired of her hurting and nothing I said made an impact. I didn't consciously think about trying to turn her inward anger to outward anger.

I yelled (because she was crying loudly): ARE YOU STUPID?

Shocked she replied very weakly: noooooooo

In my best drill Sergeant voice: That is the Wrong answer. You yell NO! You are not stupid. Are you stupid?

Full of anger and yelling at the top of her voice: NO!!!!!!

This was the beginning of the ARE YOU STUPID drill. Anytime I saw her turning her anger inward I would ask the question. She displayed a huge amount of anger.

And I told her that she wasn't allowed to think such things about my baby. (Sometimes it was easier for my darling to hear and understand me, if I used third person.) I told her that she had a problem. There was an answer.

And WE would find the answer together. WE are a team. This is family.

About 6 months later she was diagnosed