Food and sleep... These are typically the 2 biggest issues for a post institutionalized child.

I adopted my darling daughter Natasha from Ukraine when she was 3.5 years old. At first I didn't fully understand just how afraid she was of the dark.

And to be honest, it look me a full year to really understand what Natasha was afraid of. It didn't matter how many night lights were on. If Natasha couldn't see my face and there was any darkness, she would freak out. She was afraid that somehow she had returned to the orphanage. If she saw my face, then she knew that she was safe.

I also discovered that my daughter had ZERO ability to self sooth. She couldn't calm her brain down enough to sleep. At the orphanage she would cry herself to sleep and eventually pass out. And she continued this pattern at home.

So out of desperation I invented the 5 rules of sleep. I explained them to Natasha. And every night, I would list the rules. I would repeat them as needed until Natasha went to sleep.

To this day we still use the rules of sleep. But now I just have to say "5 rules" and Natasha follows them.

1. Head on pillow


2. Still/calm body... stop moving


3. Quiet mouth.. no talking


4. Close the ears


5. Shut down the brain like a computer