Natasha had zero understanding of "play" when she came home from Ukraine at 3.5 years of age. She understood how to clean clothing in a bathtub, wash dishes and sweep a floor. But playing was a foreign idea.

Never in a million years did I think that I would have to teach my child to play. I don't remember reading and preparing for this.

At first I thought it was a skill that she could just pick up. It would just happen naturally as she grew developmentally. But it didn't happen that way.

I heard something about Floor Time. Later I found out that this idea is used by parents with autistic children. Some children coming home from orphanages will have institutionalized autism. And many therapies used for autistic children work very well for post-institutionalized children.

Via an email list I was told that Floor Time meant me getting on the floor. I would let Natasha select the activity. And then I could guide her into playing.

For example she wanted to pull all the pots and pans off the shelves. So I sat on the kitchen floor with her. I tapped a pot to make a noise. Her eyes were puzzled but then she hit 2 pots against each other. The noise level greatly grew from there.

So everyday for at least 30 minutes, I would let Natasha decide the activity. We would follow her interest which was a bit tricky. She had an attention span of about 1 second. Many times she forgot what we were doing.

And many of the things she wanted to do were messy (open every bag and can in a cabinet, pull all the books off the shelf, dump bag of flour on the floor). So I had to suck it up and forget about keeping things neat and clean. I just had to accept that a mess would be made.

This investment in play greatly paid off for both of us. I think it strengthened our relationship. And Natasha's development skills quickly grew.

Last week Natasha (now 10 years old) was playing in the driveway with some neighborhood girls. The girls are a couple of years younger then Natasha. Natasha let the youngest girl pick the game (house).

So Natasha set up the tent. She prepared food (left over pizza) and drink. And then the girls played.

Natasha's interactions with the younger girls reminded me so much of our Floor Time. She was letting the younger girl decide on the activity. Then she guided her into trying something new.

As always you can post a comment or send me an email at adoptukraineblog@adoptionmail.com.

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