During Natasha's (adopted from Ukraine in December 2000 at 3.5 years of age) first year home I kept a journal. I started this writing because it felt like my days were filled with constant power struggles. The journal focused me on Natasha's positive developmental growth rather then negative behavior.

Last week I was re-reading the journal. I found a jewel of a story. So for Love Thursday here is my journal entry.

November 2001

Natasha and I played with her dolls.. dressing and undressing them.. making up stories... playing with a doll house. It is lots of fun, but I decided to take a break and quickly check my email.

I had been reading and deleting email for 10 minutes or so when Natasha came in the room. She announced that she had been making maps so that kids could find their Mamas.

She wanted to show me the maps. I eagerly followed her to check out the maps. She had opened my bedroom window. This window doesn't have a screen on it and so was totally open to the outside.

Natasha had stood on my bed next to the window. She had tossed out papers that had been stacked next to the bed. These papers were items like medical receipts, pay check stubs and other financial items.

I looked out the window and saw all these papers scattered on the ground and just had to laugh. Natasha and I talked a while about making maps and how good it is when kids find their Mama.

I have recently read emails from various people about how adoptive parents over analyze their children. And people should just relax and let their children be children.

I am so torn about statements like this. I agree 100% and disagree 100%. Children should just be children. However adoptive parents... no wait.. all parents should be familiar with basic developmental goals and expectations. They should be educated in various issues like attachment.

Parents should be looking for certain issues. The earlier a child gets help the better their chances are.

Recently I told someone else... Adoption does rule our family. Adoption is a part of the family [like our brown hair]. Being open about Natasha's past allows her to play games like "making maps for kids to find Mamas".

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