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Food and other Security Blankets
My daughter, Natasha, was 3.5 years old when I adopted her from Ukraine. After the adoption was final, I picked her up from the orphanage as quickly as I could. I was very excited, scared and a little numb. And I did something very right at that moment….
I gave Natasha a small canvas bag. And in this bag, I placed Ziploc bags with goldfish crackers and graham crackers. Natasha was thrilled with this present. She didn’t eat many of the crackers. She knew that I had more food in my purse. But she loved to count the food. She loved to move crackers from one bag to another bag. She loved carrying her food around everywhere. It gave her great comfort.
We traveled from Ukraine to home with her “comfort” crackers. Once home, I replaced her well-worn crackers with fresh ones. And I gave her a cabinet in the kitchen that she could store food in. I believe this prevented her from hoarding food.
Natasha is 8 years old now. One a recent Saturday morning I took Natasha grocery shopping. She got very upset with me (she yelled at me that I was mean) during the drive to the store. I had told her that she couldn’t sleep over at a friend’s house. She pouted, crossed her arms and stomped into the store with me. But once we hit the fruit section, her entire body relaxed. She helped me pick out the apples and bananas. We had a friendly conversation about the price of strawberries (expensive) vs. the wonderful taste of strawberries. She was still mad at me, but being surrounded by food was just too relaxing.
One other thing that I did very right while in Ukraine….. For Natasha, I purchased a traditional Ukrainian shirt along with several other pieces of clothing. Natasha outgrew this clothing a long time ago. But she has good memories attached to the clothing, so we kept it. Sometimes she will take the clothing out and play with it. It is like taking out a photo album. She is just revisiting old memories.
A couple of weeks ago, a major fire was close to our house. I was just a little concerned, so I gave Natasha a bag and told her to pack important stuff…. Just in case we had to leave our house. She is a practical girl so she put in a hairbrush, toothpaste and a toothbrush. Next was her scrapbook with pictures from her Ukrainian adoption and her traditional Ukrainian shirt.
