Anyone remember how former Vice President Dan Quayle

criticized unwed mothers as violating "family values." ......... As a specific example he singled out the fictitious Murphy, who had given birth to son Avery, out of wedlock, in the 1991-92 season finale.

from the MURPHY BROWN TV Show

I was 24 years old at the time this happened and Quayle greatly angered me. My mother was a single mother. I came out OK. I was a productive member of society who understood family values. I felt like this man was attacking my family. Then the TV show decided to respond to Quayle.

In words that doubtlessly resonated with many Americans, she [Murphy Brown] declared, "Perhaps it’s time for the vice president to expand his definition [of family] and recognize that whether by choice or circumstance families come in all shapes and sizes. And ultimately, what really defines a family is commitment, caring and love."

from: Single-Parent Families

I started thinking about what was really important to me. I decided that if I was still single at 32 years of age, I would think about parenting a child without a husband.


Time marched on and I experienced other relationships and one marriage proposal that I didn’t accept. I worked and enjoyed my life with family and friends.


Before I knew it my 32nd birthday was approaching quickly. So I found and joined an organization called Single Mothers By Choice. This group allowed me to explore my options.


I decided to adopt. I started reading everything that I could get my hands on. I found and answered questionnaires similar to Self-Assessment Adoption Quiz. I looked at each of my adoption options.


I joined email lists like Single Adoptive Parents Mailing List.


I decided to look at adoption from foster care. I didn't need to adopt a baby. I tried getting the correct phone number to start the process. I called and left messages. I tried different phone numbers and left messages. I could never reach anyone who was interested in helping me adopt from the foster care system. Ugh!


My next option was international adoption. I am an analytical person, and I decided to approach my research from a numeric point of view. I wanted to adopt from a country where adoption seemed to be stable.


The US State Department lists visa counts..... how many children were adopted overseas. And the numbers showed where children were being adopted from.


I compared 1998 to 1997 and 1997 to 1996. This helped me eliminate countries to investigation. If a country had negative growth, then I removed them from my research list. For example a country had 100 adoptions in 1998 but 250 adoptions in 1997. Then I removed countries that didn't accept single parents (South Korea for example).


I spent 1 year researching my different adoption options.

Once I selected Ukraine and started the adoption process it was another year before the adoption was completed. Don't you just love the paperchasing and waiting. (Not!) I was constantly checking my email account. It was like a nervous tick every 30 minutes some days. Do I have an appointment. Do I have an appointment.....

I traveled to Ukraine in 2000 and adopted my darling daughter. She was 3.5 years of age at adoption and a very strong willed child.

Murphy Brown was just one point along my path which led to my daughter.