Continuing from part 1 and part 2.... Here is an old journal entry. I was looking back at the first 4 months home with Natasha.


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We practiced emotions in front of the mirror. OK, the reality is that we made faces at each other in the mirror and giggled. It was very educational and a fun way to develop Natasha's emotional palette.


I modeled behavior. I talked and talked and talked about my behavior and thoughts.

"I am sad. I broke the glass. Now I cannot use it."

(breath, breath)

"I am sad because I cannot use the glass. My sad is going away."

(breath, breath)

"I will pick up the mess. It is sharp. Only adults can pick up a broken glass. It would hurt my baby."

I would hold her when she had a meltdown, until she calm down.


Time outs started as us sitting together counting. I never left Natasha alone for time outs. It scared her to death.


I learned Natasha's learning styles. She is a "doing" girl. She is strongly a tactual-kinesthetic and auditory learner. She is a very weak visual learner. Understanding Natasha's learning style let me have a lot more patience with her. Example... She really did have to touch the tshirt one more time. It was her primary method for getting information.


There is a survey here to figure out what your child's learning style is.


And I learned for Natasha to hear my approval, I had to turn the volume way up.


I could not say , "good job Natasha". I had to say "GOOD JOB, NATASHA. You are an excellent helper". Then I throw her into the air and catch her.


The rule of thumb with time outs is 1 minute per age of child. Natasha was 3 years old. To get her attention, I had to do 6 to 8 minutes on time outs. (Later I learned that these are called time ins because the parent stays with children.)


Before I left for Ukraine, I researched for a year. I read a lot about attachment and common post institutional issues. My favorite attachment web site of all time is Practical Attachment.


Want to chat or share your experiences? You can email me at adoptukraineblog@adoptionmail.com or comment below.