e-mail
In part one I shared part of an old email. Natasha had been home for 13 months.
The picture above is from that timeframe. Natasha had a buzz haircut when I adopted her. Her hair had finally grown in. And then a few days before this picture, she found scissors and cut her bangs off.
This was the first tme she did it. She did it at least once a year. Somehow she managed to find scissors no matter how “out of reach” they were. But with her ADHD diagnoses and the medication, her impulse control is much better. I don’t have to worry about Natasha cutting her hair off anymore.
Another fact about this timeframe. Natasha’s favorite TV show was Super-Market Sweep. People would race through a grocery store stuffing tons of food into a basket. The person who got the most food won. Natasha was mesmerized.
The email continues below.
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Wal-Mart, grocery stores, any store was a problem. She would grab things and yell. She was over stimulated which is why she stayed in the grocery cart. Typically I would just do short trips and move fast.
Natasha had been home for about 9 months when things got better at stores. I told myself that she just needed exposure to the store and my expectations. And I will admit that I started bribing her at Target. At Target, she is allowed to buy one video and then we can go home and watch it. And I used cookies and M&Ms.
At the grocery store, I always start at the bakery and let her pick a cookie or donut. Normally the cookie keeps her busy for a little while.
One time I was in Dillard’s buying a pillow and she had a major meltdown (crying, pinching, kicking, hitting, licking). She was tired and we had stayed too long.
I sat on the floor and just held her. I rocked her. She screamed and asked this stranger to help her get away from me. Fortunately Natasha was still mostly talking Russian at this point. I just held her until she calmed down.
Another thing that worked at the grocery store was involving Natasha in decisions. Should we get peas or carrots? Does this apple look good? Natasha became quite a shopper.
And because she was focused on helping on the decision making she didn’t struggle/meltdown over the final decision.
And she makes the right decisions while shopping, because you empowered her. I wish many American-born preteens had been empowered in this way before the market got to them.
Wow, Supermarket Sweep! We must be careful about the influences we allow and expose!