My daughter was a human ping-pong ball when she first came home. She bounced off the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. She was 3.5 years old and always touching, touching, touching. And she was always moving. Her attention span was about 1 second. It was extremely easy to over stimulate her. Common activities like shopping for food or taking a walk in the park were big challenges for me because she was always on the move. At this point I totally understood why parents put leashes on their children.


Then I discovered the calming influence of bathing. Natasha could be in a small area that had limited stimulation. It was just Natasha, the water, the bathtub and me. Sometimes I would close the shower curtain to enclose us.


Natasha loved bath time. After she figured out how to request a bath, she demanded it with great frequency. Some days she had 8 baths and I appreciated every single bath. I knew exactly where she was and what she was doing. I could sit down (rather then run after her) and watch her play. Her favorite game was pouring water out of a cup into the bathtub. Another favorite game was pouring the water on her head. Third favorite game was to pour water on my head. :)


The number of baths per day became a scale for me. A very stressful day for both of us was an 8-bath day and a low stress day was a 2-bath day.


So it should be no surprise that her first Christmas with me was an 8-bath day. When she was careening out of control, I would just pop her into the water and she would mellow out. On Christmas day we visited relatives who really didn’t understand attachment, so they thought she was a charmer. Well, she was a charmer… on the surface. And the relatives thought I was weird because I was popping her in and out of the bathtub over the afternoon.


But what no one really understood was just how much bath time helped me with attachment. My darling was under constant stress no matter what... between her sensory integration issues and her need to be in control at all times.


Bath time was the very first time that Natasha ever handed over control to me. She could ask for a bath on demand. But I controlled when it happened and how long it happened.


And after every single bath I would snuggle her into a towel and hold her close to me. We would look into the mirror together. I would ask, “Where is Natasha? There is Natasha (pointing to the image in the mirror). Where is Mama? There is Mama (pointing to the image in the mirror).”


We played different many different variations of this game. Example: Pointing to Natasha and saying she is Grandma. Natasha loved that one. She laughed quite hard. Or we would practice emotions in the mirror. “This is my happy face. This is my sad face.”


I haven’t done this game in years. Natasha has been giving herself baths for a while now. The other day I entered the bathroom while she was brushing her hair. I came up behind her and asked, “Where is Natasha?” She got this huge grin on a face and pointed to the mirror.