So if you are dealing with an aggressive child, you can use verbal aikido.

The word "aikido" is made up of three Japanese characters: AI - harmony, KI - spirit, mind, or universal energy, DO - the Way. Thus aikido is "the Way of Harmony with Universal Energy."

However, AIKI may also be interpreted as "accommodation to circumstances." This latter interpretation is somewhat non- standard, but it avoids certain undesirable metaphysical commitments and also epitomizes quite well both the physical and psychological facets of aikido.

From: www.advdojo.org/vocab.html

An adoptive parent can use the principles behind Aikido to deal with aggressive children. The idea is to redirect the child's energy rather then block it. You blend with the child and therefore you aren't a target for an attack.


From my foster care training (sorry I cannot find an online reference):

Guidelines to verbal blending....

• Being aware of the feelings underlying the child's statements, not the content.



• Keep in mind the goal of the interaction: reducing escalation as opposed to increasing escalation.



• Remember to keep your response appropriate to the developmental age of the child.

Here is a great Aikido quote that clearly expressed for me... an attitude that I needed to have.

O-Sensei: My students think I don't lose my center. That is not so; I simply recognize it sooner and get back faster.

Here are some suggestions about body language when dealing with an aggressive child.

Non-verbal blending behaviors

• Keep your facial expression neutral



• Have your arms down at your sides or in front



• Have your hands open and relexed; gestures should only be used in a non-threathening way to direct. Avoid pointing your finger at the child; instead use your entire hand to genture.



• Look at the youth, but do not stare, glare, or roll your eyes.
  Take slow, easy breaths.



• Examine the spatial distance. Step out of the youth's space if you are too close, give them a little room, or lean in if it would help to focus attention on him.

Dealing with An Aggressive Child

How To Understand Aggression
How To Deal With Violence and Aggression
How To Deal With Aggression
How To Do Verbal Akido
How To Remove Roadblocks To Blending
How To Verbally Blend