Part 1 ended with:

Question: Did my 3.5 year old daughter really try to get me arrested?

Answer: Yes

Natasha had been home (adopted from Ukraine) for 2 months when this happened. I took Natasha to a store to buy a bed and pillow. She had attachment issues. We were still learning about each other.

I didn't know at the time and still don't know what triggered the meltdown. But it could have been anything. She was frustrated with me and was overwhelmed by the store (choices and noises). And she was tired.

She starting wailing at the top of her lungs. It was pretty clear that she couldn't control her behavior and was acting out her emotional age.... which appeared to be 18 months old. I could hear the fear in her crying and yelling.

Her aggression (yelling, crying, stomping) escalated to violence. So I sat down on the floor in the next to the towel display; criss cross applesauce.

Side question: Was anyone else surprised to find out that "sit like an Indian" was changed to "criss cross applesauce"?. I am not expressing surprise that the name was changed. I just don't get where "criss cross applesauce" came from. Anyone know?

I pulled Natasha into my lap and started rocking her. I was trying to avoid being bitten, pinched, licked, spit on. But at least this way I was 100% certain she couldn't bang her head on the hard, hard floor.

A woman (shopping for towels wandered by). I got the feeling she really wanted to buy towels and wasn't checking up on me. She was trying reeeeeeeeeaaaalllllllly hard to pretend that a screaming child wasn't sitting in my lap.

Natasha started reaching out to the woman. She was crying:

Policia, policia

The woman wandered away and the police didn't show up. So either she didn't understand the word. Or she didn't want to be involved.




Natasha slowly started responding to my rocking her. I got her to briefly tell me "Da". At this point in time, I think Natasha had a major meltdown every couple of days. And by major meltdown, I mean that I was concerned for my safety and/or her safety.


I had a couple of goals with the meltdowns.

• Avoid injury to me and her.



• Get her to see me as a protector. I could help her with her emotions and fears



• Get her to say "yes" or "da". I just picked a word. With this word she let me know that she had some control back.



• Get her to breath with me.

And slowly over months.... the violence disappeared and I was left with just aggression.


Volcano Image From: http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/


Dealing with An Aggressive Child

How To Understand Aggression
How To Deal With Violence and Aggression
How To Deal With Aggression
How To Do Verbal Akido
How To Remove Roadblocks To Blending
How To Verbally Blend