Natasha is 9 years old now. She was adopted at 3.5 years of age from Kharkiv, Ukraine. Sometime around 5 years of age I told her that her adoption story was hers to tell or not. She owned the story, I was just the guardian.

A couple of months later she heard me talking to another mother. Other mother was interested in adoption and I was chatting about the process. I was talking about my emotions and experiences. Natasha very huffy came up and pointed a finger at me.

Natasha said: That is MY story you are telling.

Me: No darling... I am telling my story. I was on the airplane too.

Natasha: Hmmm (thinking about it, she wondered away)

I don't go around introducing my adopted daughter Natasha. And I don't go around talking about Natasha's birth family. Before I started blogging I asked Natasha what I could and could not share. And when in doubt with a specific blog I read it to her... and asked if I can share it.

Sometimes my darling says no and sometimes yes. She loves the power of controlling her story. And that strikes me as very appropriate.

Natasha since around 7 years of age has used her adoption story to find other children with a similar story. She found GW her BFFFFFFF by sharing her story.

The worst frustration for Tashie is that sometimes the other kids don't believe that she was born in Ukraine. Last year a group of her friends were playing the "Where were you born?" game. I remember doing this as a kid.

She told them Ukraine. They told her that wasn't possible. She didn't sound foreign enough.

She came home from school that day torn between anger and tears. She asked me for help. She also asked why the kids didn't just believe her. I told her that I didn't have a clue. We decided that I would join her at lunch next week and explain it.

The following week I had lunch with a table full of lively 8 year old girls. I explained Natasha's adoption story and answered questions like:

Was she really born in Ukraine?

How come she speaks English good? (the irony of this question :) )

Where are her real Mom and Dad?

It was actually fun. I didn't let the word "real" bug me.

An explanation of the trampoline pictures....

Last Saturday a fierce storm lifted the trampoline in the backyard and pushed it over into my neighbor's yard. The fence wasn't hurt. Next day my neighbor pushed it back over the fence. The legs had fallen off but that was very fixable. This is the picture at the top.

I just now fixed it. I am single. If I don't fix it, it doesn't get done. Anyway, Natasha and GW decided to jump on it. I had to take a picture.