Dr Brothers' said something like... adopted younger children will be less impacted by loss then older children. I have never found that to be true. They cannot communicate as well, but young children are very familiar with loss. And they do remember.

My earliest memories are when I was 18 months old. It was the night that my youngest brother was born. And the next day when my family went to the hospital to see the new baby. It is a memory of trama.

A neighbor woman was babysitting me and my older brother while Mom was giving birth. She wouldn't leave me alone. I was struggling with my breathing a little bit (allergies) and she kept hugging me.

The neighbor was wearing a dress and her legs were white. I remember sitting on the floor looking at her legs and feeling intense anger. I just wanted to play with my blocks. She kept hugging me. ARGH!!!

I have my own sensory integration issues... I cannot stand the texture of oatmeal in my mouth. And I cannot handle the touch of polyester. It makes my skin crawl. My youngest brother was born in 1978 and everyone was wearing polyester including this neighbor. So part of my anger came from discomfort.

The next day my father took me to visit my younger brother. For some reason I was sure this was a bad idea. Everything was white and smelled funny. The echos in the hallways were a marvel. I yelped and slapped my shoes down hard on the floor to hear the echos. Dad didn't like me doing this. The baby was ugly and I got to see Mama. Yeah!

When my family gets together for a celebration, the story telling begins. Storytelling is how families bond together.

Remember the time that Mom was so distracted, she told us all to go get into the tree rather then the car.

During one of these get togethers.. I was around 15 years of age, I asked for help in labeling a memory. I had visual memories and anger. I described the memory and I was sure it related to baby brother because of the hospital trip. My mother confirmed that a neighbor did babysit me. And I did come visit the baby at the hospital. This allowed me to attach a story to the visual images and anger.

I know other people who have memories when they were less then 2 years old. The memory is always an image, a smell, a feeling. This is because research shows you only have 2 chances to remember something; visual and/or verbal.

I know that all my memories before 4 years of age are all visual memories. After that I started collect memories that are verbal. Here is an outline of memory creation if you want more information.

Natasha has some strong image memories (She was adopted at 3.5 years of age). I have tracked down one based on her medical record which means Natasha is remembering when she was 2.2 years of age.

What is your earliest memory?


Attachment
Dr Joyce Brothers Got it Wrong
Adopting Younger is Best (Not)
Attachment Stories
Memories