I ran across the quiz by Dr. Joyce Brothers, International Adoption is Not For Everyone from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. I found it because of Erin's blog and Adrienne's blog.

One of the biggest misunderstandings that I see about attachment over and over and over and over.... Attachment issues can be avoided if you just adopt the child young.

That if the child is young enough they won't have memories. The baby won't remember his losses. This is so false.

Dr Brothers stated that the answer for the following question was true.

2. It is best to adopt children who are very young -- under 2 or 3 years old -- because the institutional living or loss of parents has had less effect on them than on older children.

From: International Adoption is Not For Everyone

I say again... It is FALSE. Maybe I wouldn't have so strongly reacted if the word "best" wasn't used. I still cannot figure out why the word bugged me so.



I adopted my darling Natasha from Ukraine at 3.5 years of age in 2000. A picture of her from this time is to the left. She was developmentally between 18 months to 24 months. And I know she doesn't really count as "older child". I know many families who think adopting an older child is adopting a school aged child.

A baby learns to attach (In my head, I always translate this word to trust.) in the first 2 years of life. If this attachment cycle is broken, then they will have a much harder time later in attaching to a new caregiver.

Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is the result of developmental interruptions (often related to abuse and neglect) that generally occur within the first three years of a child's life. The child's ability to bond and trust (attach) to other people is damaged, and attaching to primary caregivers and others is non-existent, inappropriate, or negative, often involving violence.

From: It's a RAD RAD World

In other words it isn't the age of the child that determines the impact of institutionalization. The child's life experiences for the first 2 to 3 years and their resiliency... this is what impacts their ability to attach and integrate into a new family.


Attachment
Dr Joyce Brothers Got it Wrong
Adopting Younger is Best (Not)
Attachment Stories
Memories