There are 3 basic reactions to encountering something new; push away, pull toward, or neutral. Adoption is about family and therefore there are rarely neutral reactions.


So as an adoptive-parent-to-be in 1999 my reaction to anti-adoption was very negative.


And to this day I find myself turned off by the arrogance of some anti-adoption writers. I witnessed a very ugly event on an anti-adoption chat board once. It wasn't a flame war. It was a mob attack. Five anti-adoption women attacked an 18-year-old adoptee. This adoptee posted that she was happy with her adoptive parents and had a couple of questions.


The adoptee was jumped on and told that she couldn't be happy. And any stolen child who said this was brainwashed. It went downhill from there.


And there was arrogance displayed in the dismissive attitude by the anti-adoption folks. My opinion didn't count because I was evil and going to steal someone's child. It would be much better for a child to die in an orphanage then be adopted by me. Ugly, ugly attitude.......


But...... I slowly became aware of my own arrogance (and attitude) when I started reading and posting on a chat board that had adoptive parents, birth parents, adoptees, grandparents, guardians, foster parents and some step parents. I really didn't understand how adoption could be abused.


For example, there was a story in 1998 titled, "INS Probes Adoption Agencies Bringing Pregnant Russians to US". I cannot find a link to the article, but found a reference to it. I remember reading this story in 1999. Nine Russian women were brought over to the United States to give birth and "place" their child for adoption.


If I am remembering this story correctly.... Several women gave interviews once they returned home to Russia. They stated they were forced. They were threatened and lied to in Russian and in the United States. They had no options in the United States. They didn't speak or read English. They were forced to sign documents that they couldn't understand. Their story made my heart hurt.


And I learned that there were adoptive parents who wanted to pretend that birth parents didn't exist. That the child they adopted didn't have a link... a connection to other people on this planet.


Today, I feel like I have a more balanced definition of adoption. And I am willing to listen now.


I am going to try and blog about adoption economics on another day.