Blog on why I accepted my daughter's referral is here.


Families' stories about accepting a referral for analytical reasons (Part 1) is here.


Families' stories about accepting a referral for emotional reasons (Part 2) is here.


As I mentioned in Part 2, I have some more stories to share on why families accepted the referral for their child. They are from my "Expectations vs Outcome in Ukrainian Adoption" survey. These adoptions from are 2001 to 2003 when adoptive parents could see several referrals at an orphanage at the same time.


Under NAC starting in 2005??? Parents could only see one referral at a time. After one referral adoptive parents have to return to the NAC to get another referral. There has been some rumor about this changing.

Here are the stories.....

**************


My husband said that one of the pictures they laid on the desk at the AC was of our son. I don't specifically remember any of the photos.

We wanted "older children" and assumed they be 4 and 6 or so. Then, the week before we left for Ukraine, we felt God guiding us to adopt ---suddenly age wasn't a factor---only retrieving our children mattered.

(family adopted 9 and 7 year old)


**************


The children we were introduced to were both older, which was different from what we had originally intended. Everything was happening so fast that first day. Processing that decision, the biggest we would ever make, was daunting.


With one child we had felt an immediate connection. But was that real? Could it happen that fast? Really?


With the other child, who was more reserved and more difficult to read... Was it only shyness inhibiting our interaction?


The difference between the two was confusing to us. By the end of the day we were exhausted from the emotion of it and in no condition to decide anything.


We spent most of the night talking about everything. When we did sleep, we dreamt about everything. And we dreamt about them.


Our dream to have children, until then, was so abstract. And now, their little faces, their eyes, and their funny smiles, and their little bodies, all limbs, jumping off the dock into the clear lake.


It seemed so prophetic at the time. Having met them that day, that night in our dreams, we spotted them and knew they were both our children.


**************


We were about to leave this orphanage. They said there was one more boy we could see. They diagnosed him as retarded. The doctor said that he had a "nasty" habit of "bouncing and rocking" therefore he wasn't a good choice.

Nonsense he was my baby and I knew it. One look into those big blue eyes and a glance of a devilish smile won me over. He hardly ever bounces or rocks anymore and he is doing very well adjusting!


**************


I really wanted a girl.


Finally the [orphanage] door opened and the children came into the room. The first little boy was really small, but as cute as a button.


He was wearing pink flowered shorts and an aqua bowtie. He was struggling to be the first one in the door. When he succeeded he put his little hands and his hips and said "Dobre Dien!" (Good Day!)

I was smitten!! I would not have left Ukraine without this little boy. I felt this way from the moment I laid eyes on him!!


**************

Accepting a Referral

Love and Accepting a Referral
Accepting the Referral for My Daughter
Accepting a Referral: Other Families Stories Part 1
Accepting a Referral: Other Families Stories Part 2
Accepting a Referral: Other Families Stories Part 3