Issues

Natasha and I recently toured a food bank. I was amazed to find out that about 11% of the United States population are food insecure. I delighted in Natasha's very developmentally appropriate behavior during the tour. Natasha is now 10 years old and came home from the orphanage 6.5 years ago. Her longest lasting post-institutional behaviors centered around food. Natasha first had to learn to chew at 3.5 years of age. And then she needed to feel secure that food was always available. So I gave Natasha control over her food and water intake. She could eat on demand. "On demand eating" meant that Natasha ate 8 or 9 very… [more]

The two most common challenges that families experience with post institutionalized children relate to sleep and food. I knew this prior to adopting my darling daughter. But I didn't realize sleep or the lack of sleep would be an issue for both of us. Natasha came home with PTSD which severely interfered with her ability to sleep. I had always read that sleeping pills were addictive or ineffective for adults. So I didn't think sleeping aids were even an option for a 3.5 year old child. If Natasha didn't sleep, then I didn't sleep. And lack of sleep lowered my immune system. I was constantly sick during Natasha's first 4 months home. I had… [more]

Last week I asked Natasha to create a picture. (It is posted on the right.) I wanted to see her mental life. What does a life filled with nervous feelings (anxiety disorder) look like? Feelings can be difficult to explain. Over the years I have discovered that Natasha can draw her feelings and thoughts. And once she has the picture, she can describe the feelings. After the picture was completed, I ask Natasha to tell me the fish's story. Here is what I was told about the "nervous feelings" picture. The fish is surrounded by choices. And all of them make her nervous. The fish could swim forward and find shelter. But first she has to pass by the… [more]

I mentioned about a week ago that my darling daughter came home from an Ukrainian orphanage with PTSD. She has been home for about 6.5 years now. She is a happy and loving 10 year old with an average IQ. Her neurological issues and her mental illnesses are invisible to most folks. Heck, some were invisible to me. Natasha picked up a couple of new labels in the last two months. Both Natasha and I have always seen her as a worrier. She worries that the fire on the TV news show will somehow hurt her. As a third grader she worries about growing up. Will she be able to find a job? What happens to her when she gets… [more]

Natasha was adopted at 3.5 years from a Ukrainian orphanage. She came home with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A condition in which victims of overwhelming and uncontrollable experiences are subsequently psychologically affected by feelings of intense fear, loss of safety... From: Helpful Adoption Terms to Know Before I adopted my daughter I spent a lot of time reading about attachment. And I came up with a plan for promoting attachment and disciplining. And then I met my darling daughter... And I had to modify my parenting plan. She came home developmentally delayed in all areas and with crossed eyes. She did not know how to chew food (mostly ate soup) and horded food. She was a very… [more]

My daughter Natasha was adopted from Ukraine when she was 3.5 years old. And for some reason today.... I asked her what she thought was an important topic concerning Ukrainian adoption. Her answer: You have to do lots of paperwork... the process... the procedures. And then you have to travel on a plane. And then you do more paperwork to complete the adoption. But then.... after a while... that is when love grows. That is the important part. My darling is a smart cookie. She is almost 10 years old and has a good understanding that love is an action. I didn't love my daughter when I met her. In fact when I tell her adoption story, I will say something like: I first… [more]

I really hate this story. I have been sitting on it since it came out on April 4, 2007. I haven't blogged about it because it makes me sad. I knew John Krueger via email. I thought he was one of the good guys. The reality... John is a convicted child molester. He hurt at least 4 children. John is a 53 year old single man who lives in California. His first Ukrainian adoption was in 2001. I think his second Ukrainian adoption was in 2003. John was accused of molesting his 3 sons and a family friend in December 2005. All 4 children were adopted from Ukraine. They were between 9 and 11 years of age. John was charged with molesting 4 boys… [more]

I was waiting for the flurry of emails from the US Embassy in Kyiv to stop. It all started with a March 22 2007 email. The US Embassy announced that adoption laws were changing and would be implemented within a week or so. The Parliament of Ukraine passed bill #2562 which would make single adoption illegal and set age restrictions on adoptive parents. This didn't match exactly what I was hearing via other sources.... but I decided to go ahead and post the March 22 2007 email. Turns out the US Embassy can be wrong about their facts like everyone else. Let's start with how a bill becomes law in Ukraine. They have a unicameral parliament. Legislatures called parliaments typically operate… [more]

Here is official news from the US Embassy on the Ukrainian adoption law changes. Everyone still is uncertain about how Ukraine is going to enforce the maximum age difference between parent and child. Does it apply to the youngest parent or oldest parent? I am mainly hearing that the oldest parent cannot be more then 45 years older then the child. Earlier I heard that this bill becomes law in May... but now I am hearing it may be next week. All I know is that I won't be adopting my second child from Ukraine. I am single. About 15% of Ukrainian adoptions were done by single men and women from 1996 to 2005. Very few singles adopted in… [more]

I posted back in December 2006 that the Ukrainian adoption had become much more difficult. And the SDA was limiting singles to adopting children 7 or older. And the SDA refused to take dossiers from single men. Then in Jan 2007 the SDA refused to take dossiers from single women. March 20 2007 it got worse. Ukraine has just passed a bill making single foreign adoption illegal. Single Ukrainian citizens will still be able to adopt. I am single and adopted in 2000. And right now I am hearing the push behind making single adoption illegal... It is because single foreigners are thought to be homosexual. And it probably relates to the John Krueger case. This modification to Ukrainian adoption law will… [more]