My daughter loves art of any kinds; painting, drawing, singing, acting. But she really enjoys playing with the Microsoft Paint program on my PC. This picture is a recent creation named "Natasha's Prettiful Colors". She is 8.5 years age going on 15 years.

When my darling first came home from Ukraine (at 3.5 years of age) she didn't know how to play. And her gross motor skills were so delayed that playing with clay and trying to color were frustrating. But she loved singing. It was her form of self-stimulation. She would sing to herself... more

Owlhaven 's The Grocery Store Gauntlet reminded me of a situation that I ran into because I am single and didn't think before I spoke.

I lived on a street where the kids played on the street and everyone's yards during the summer. Neighborhood kids were constantly coming in and out of my house. It was really nice weather (cooling off) and there was a beautiful sunset. I went outside to relax and doing nothing other then watch my child play.

I put my brain in neural and... more

My daughter was a human ping-pong ball when she first came home. She bounced off the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. She was 3.5 years old and always touching, touching, touching. And she was always moving. Her attention span was about 1 second. It was extremely easy to over stimulate her. Common activities like shopping for food or taking a walk in the park were big challenges for me because she was always on the move. At this point I totally understood why parents put leashes on their children.

Then I discovered the calming influence of bathing. Natasha could be... more

I wrote a blog on pain and grief in adoption. I got a comment that make me realize I need to clarify something.

I stated that "other people's crisis aren't my crisis". I was poorly expressing myself. I was trying to talk about a very common human behavior. I am not talking specifically about adoption, but rather every day life.

Here is an example of the behavior............

In the new movie Aquamarine there is a girl named Claire.... more

After I was able to get past my emotional reaction to anti-adoption writing, I was able to think and explore my thoughts that were generated by these emails, posts, blogs.

The first and most important reminder was that that Pain is real to the person feeling it. Pain isn't something that can be measured with a yard stick or weighed on scales. Doctors do actually try to measure physical pain and emotional distress to help with treatment plans.

But otherwise it is counter productive to try... more

I have an email friend who gave me permission to share her story about adopting an older child from Ukraine. She went to Ukraine to adopt a child over 10 years of age.

Friday, Feb 24, 2006

There were several couples in NAC on Thursday. Today (Friday) we went to pick up the referral (at 12 instead of 3) and it was a ghost town. [Translator] says the director is "on vacation".

My friend and her husband received a referral for a 13 year old "gentlemen". They traveled on Sunday so they could visit the orphanage on Monday.

Wednesday,... more

When I decided to become a parent via adoption in 1999, I asked a friend (who had adopted) for advice on getting started. His reply frankly made me angry because I thought he was just blowing me off.

He told me to read, read, read and then read some more.

I decided to take his advice and I started reading. Can you believe it... google.com was just a beta release in 1999. I used msn.com and yahoo.com to search for adoption information. And I found USENET which later became Google Groups. Strange how the world changes so quickly.

I found people who people... more

Every night I say the same things.

Tasha head on the pillow and eyes closed.

My daughter says the same thing in return.

I can't get to sleep.

Then I say.

You haven't tried. Eyes closed. Sleep. No talk.

Strange sleep ritual, but it works for us.

My darling's brain is racing all the time. She has ADHD and is on medication to help with impulse control. But the medication interferes with sleep. When she is off medication she sleeps about 1 hour more then when... more

My darling daughter, adopted from Ukraine, came home to me at 3.5 years of age as a survivor. She survived her childhood, the orphanage, the adults, the other children, the feral dogs around her orphanage. She was just sure that she could handle everything herself. Control freak to the max.....

After taking a bath (which was a new experience for her by the way... she was used to a sponge bath) she would try and wash her clothing. She also washed dishes and swept. She knew how to work but she didn’t know how to play.

And about attachment.... She didn’t need no freaking attachment.... more

I liked Aleida's post on Siblings, so I am borrowing the idea of reviewing a list and providing a different point of view.

My daughter starts the most interesting conversations while she sits in the back seat of the car and I drive. I gather from talking to other parents this is fairly common. Many of the more interesting conversations about her birth family have happened in the car.

There is a list of 30 Things Adoptees Wish They Knew About Their... more